Helping A Family Member Who Was Scammed

Start by listening, not asking why

A family member who has been scammed is often carrying shame on top of the loss itself. The most useful first step is to listen to what happened without asking how they could have fallen for it.

Once they feel heard, they are more able to focus on what can be done now. Blame tends to make people hide details that turn out to matter later.

Avoid comparing their situation to others or mentioning how obvious the warning signs seem in hindsight. Every scam is designed to look convincing in the moment, and hindsight makes the signs seem far clearer than they actually were at the time.

What you can do together right away

Sit with them while they contact their bank to flag the transfer and ask about a recall. Read how a bank recall works before the call so you know what to expect. If the transfer was recent, call the National Scam Response Centre on 997 together.

Help them gather the evidence: screenshots, transfer receipts, and any messages from the scammer. Organising this calmly, while the details are fresh, makes later steps easier.

If your relative is elderly or unfamiliar with banking apps, offer to sit beside them rather than taking over their phone entirely. This keeps them informed and in control of what is being reported.

Reporting and next steps

A police report usually needs to be made in person by the account holder, so offer to go with them rather than doing it for them. The same applies to most bank disputes, which need the account holder’s own consent.

Your role is steady support: helping them stay organised, keeping track of reference numbers, and making sure nothing urgent is missed in the first hours.

If reading official forms feels overwhelming for them, offer to go through anything together before it is submitted. Small practical support often matters more than advice at this stage.

Protecting them from a second scam

Be alert to anyone contacting your family member afterward claiming they can recover everything, in exchange for a fee first. This targets people who are already upset and looking for a quick answer.

Gently remind them that a genuine recovery process does not start with a payment from them.

Recovery agents who ask for payment before doing anything are a common follow-up scam, and they often reach out through the same messaging platform used in the original scam. Share this pattern with your relative so they recognise it if it happens.

What to do next

Once the urgent steps are done, decide together whether wider family should be told, and let your relative make that call where possible. If the amount is significant, an honest view of whether legal action is worth it can help the family plan the next move.